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# 174 “I can kick myself, what am I doing?”

Maud is taken on a surprise weekend by Tommy. Very sweet of course, but she slept with Joris during their break and is actually always with him in her head. During their romantic weekend away she receives two messages from Kai and she has a missed call from Joris. Tommy realizes that things are not right and Maud finally confesses that she has kissed Joris. As Tommy leaves the hotel angry and sad and goes home, Maud has made up his mind to invite Joris. After all, she is now in a nice hotel ..

Less than an hour later there is a knock on the door.

After Tommy left the hotel, I went outside for some fresh air. I was almost as drunk as I was last time at Jessie’s sister’s house party, so that fresh air was good. But I just really don’t know what to do. I love Tommy, but I think the feeling in love is really gone.


Tommy is really doing his best and the weekend was great fun, but it just feels like something broke. Maybe it can still be glued … I don’t know. I told myself that I have the answer when I see Joris, that I feel whether I want to continue with him or not.

When I see Joris standing in the doorway, I can only think: when are we going to kiss ?! Joris has done his best to look beautiful tonight anyway. He’s wearing new shoes, his hair is great and he smells great. He has a bottle of prosecco in his left hand.

“Maud!”, Joris shouts exuberantly, giving me a hug. I feel a strange feeling, why doesn’t he kiss me? Pff, what does this boy do to me. I would prefer to immediately take off his shirt and jump him. I damn look like a cat in heat!

Joris walks around the room and then flops down on the bed. I don’t know what to do. I prefer to lie next to him, but maybe I should pour a drink first. I behave like an adolescent in love who is unable to utter a meaningful word. “Why are you actually alone in a hotel?” Asks Joris.


I start to laugh .. „Yes, it is beautiful here! Have you seen the view yet? ”I rattle. Of course I can hardly say that an hour ago I was talking to Tommy here, that this was a surprise from Tommy and an attempt to glue our relationship.

“Long story …”, I mumble. Joris remains silent. I always hate it when people keep quiet because then you know you have to keep talking. I can hit myself in the head. How come I thought an hour ago that it was a good idea to invite Joris. What must Joris also think of me. Suppose it does become something between us, then I just have to be honest. I can feel the tears coming …

Just then my phone beeps. I see a text message from Tommy coming up in the corner of my eye. “I am home. Have fun alone in the hotel. ”

I curse out loud. What am I doing now?


“Hey, Maud are you okay?” Says Joris as he gets up to give me a hug. He puts his strong arms around me and all I want is to just fall asleep in his arms and pretend that nothing is wrong. With Joris I feel safe, I have the feeling that whatever happens, if I am with him it will be fine.

“It has to do with Tommy,” says Joris. “I am not a fool Maud, I cannot imagine that you would sit here alone in a hotel. Or are you with a girlfriend? Who is now hiding in the bathroom? ” I cry, cough and laugh at the same time. Joris grabs me tightly and curls his hands through my hair. I turn my head towards him and then we start to kiss. Very gently at first, and then getting harder and more intense, it’s one of the best and longest kisses ever. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol, but I can feel everything racing through my body. It just makes me dizzy. When we are done kissing, Joris gives me a very penetrating look.

So .. wow. That was one of the best kisses ever, ”he says. Then he gives my kiss on the head and sits down on the bed again.

“Maud, I didn’t just text you .. I’m here for a reason. I have to tell you something. ”

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# 174 “I can kick myself, what am I doing?”


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