An Ode for .. Louise Wallace

Bard of the south Victor Billot joins the circus


The Lady of the Tape


So it was that the Imperial Circus
found itself short of material.
There was nothing of interest anywhere.
The piles of plague victims no longer
moved the hearts of the people;
the distant wars in The Land of Ut
were old news.
Yet each night at the Imperial Circus
the people demanded red meat:
they wished to see the blood
and gloat on the shrieks of the unfortunate.
So the producers of the Imperial Circus
and the jugglers and fire breathers and the carny people
struggled mightily and scraped all manner
of thanks barrels to come up with something.
Lo, a gent with a squad of dancing fleas!
Lo, a performing 150 year old seal!
Behold, a stuffed Dodo from the Lonely Isles!
But none could provide that all important
three minutes of utter vapidity the people demanded.
But then the Executive Vizier of Entertainments said:
we could bring in Lady Lou.
Yea, verily there was silence; the silence stretched on;
the silence grew embarrassing in its profound length.
And the Mighty Vizier said, remember Lady Lou of Gaffer?
And a vague memory stirred in the minds of the circus people.
It’s all we’ve got, said the Grand Vizier of Entertainments.
But there was great confusion and hubbub.
And one of the sad faced clowns stepped up and sayeth:
O Esteemed Vizier of Entertainments, Lady Lou
has even less entertainment value than the dancing fleas,
the performing seal and the stuffed Dodo.
And the Glorious Vizier withdrew to his chambers
and brooded six long days on such a question:
for indeed, there was little of entertainment value here,
even of the most vapid and slight nature.
But on the seventh day, a great shining light
of inspiration illuminated his troubled mind.
So the Most Revered Vizier of Entertainments
went out and addressed the Entire Troupe.
Hear ye, O loyal Circus staff!
We will asketh Lady Lou to mocketh the fat people.
And the Circus staff went wild,
for this entertainment plunged to hitherto
unknown depths of mindbending vapidity,
and thus the Entire Troupe knew it would be a mighty hit
with all the people of the Queendom.

Victor Billot has previously felt moved to compose Odes for such luminaries as Christopher Luxon, Mike Hosking, Clarke Gayford, Brian Tamaki, and Garrick Tremain.

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