An Ode for .. Luxon, the ladies man

The Bard on Prophet Luxon

The Prophet in Gilead

Prophet Luxon walked upon the shores of Gilead.
Great travails were upon the land;
and his flock argued among themselves.
The Prophet speaketh to the villagers.
Lo, say the Prophet, I am pro-life.
And the villagers cheered and burned
another sacrifice to their Stern God.
But then the Prophet speaketh
to the ladies of Babylon.
Lo, says the Prophet, I am pro-choice.
And the ladies were puzzled
taught by the difficult lessons this prophet.
How can this be, they saith to one another.
So the High Priests of the Press Temple
studied the words of the Prophet.
And after many nights weighing his proverbs
they said to the curious onlookers,
this prophet is truly all things to all people;
he giveth and he taketh away,
he is both fish and fowl.
But the Prophet’s disciples were unruly
and did not follow his teachings;
for the sign of true faith in a disciple
is to causeth not grief to his leader.
Disciple Simon Of Tamaki
mounted the temple walls
and guffawed and cavorted;
and he mocketh the ladies of Babylon
and shouted ya boo! Sux to be you!
Back to the kitchen, wenches!
So there was much waiting and gnashing
of teeth; and Prophet Luxon offered
Frank learns to Disciple Simon.
One does not seek out the nest of the hornet
merely to smack it with a stick,
he counselled: learn the way of the Lord.
And that way is to say this thing,
and sayeth the other thing;
until eventually no one knows what is what
and all hear what they wish to hear.
And then, said the Prophet,
when we have thoroughly bamboozled all,
we will deliver Gilead to our Stern God.


Victor Billot has previously felt moved to compose Odes for such luminaries as the Prime Minister, Louise Wallace, Mike Hosking, Clarke Gayford, Brian Tamaki, and Garrick Tremain.

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