With this week:
Name: Juliette (50)
Partner: Ron (54)
Pets: cat Desi
Occupation Juliette: Life coach and organizer of ceremonial weddings, 25 hours a week
Occupation Ron: electrician, 40 hours a week
Income distribution Juliette / Ron: 33/67
Household distribution: total 16 hours a week, Juliette 10 hours, Ron 6 hours
NB: We spoke to Juliette a while ago before the corona crisis broke out.
“With my company I organize ceremonial weddings, for example for people who have been married for so many years and want to declare love to each other again. I do the line work, the output is done by self-employed people. I am also a practical life coach. I support companies in the administrative and secretarial health care sector and people with burnout or ADD. Both jobs are about organizing. I work about 25 hours every week, which is fairly stable.
My husband Ron works as an electrician 40 hours a week. He is satisfied, but hopes to do something else in the future. One day less work, more variety, more creation: what exactly, he does not know yet. In any case, he will not self-employed like me. We are both happy with the safety of a permanent job. If we both go freewheeling, we find it a bit too exciting. ”
“The household is well distributed. Ron has set tasks. He does the dishes every day, vacuum the house and does the shopping on Saturday. Together we make a shopping list every week. It is a good thing that Ron does the shopping, because he is much faster and spends much less money on it. He sticks neatly to the list, while I see everything I want. As soon as he is working on this, I update the administration. I spend 2.5 hours on that every week.
In November I had an operation on my hip. Ron has since changed the litter box. I could take that over again, but Ron now considers it his job. I do feed the cat. I also cook, I spend 45 minutes on that every day. Every night I prepare the lunch box for Ron, which he can take with him when he leaves for work at 07:00 in the morning. Like Ron, I spend half an hour a week doing laundry. I clean the house, we do the beds together or alternately. Ron does the odd jobs around the house, he is very handy in that. He is also the one who always drives. That all goes without agreements, it has grown spontaneously. We never consciously looked at who does what in the house, but it is now a well-oiled machine, it runs flawlessly. ”
“I think of the things that need to be done. If something is needed outside of our regular jobs, such as cleaning windows, I decide that. Ron is less likely to see what needs to be done, although he always does the shelf in the bathroom on his own. He shaves there every day, so he has a better view of it than I do. I make up many tasks and then I ask Ron to help me. I have had a lot of pain in my hip in recent years and it has grown so much: when I ask something he does it. He thinks he is doing his jobs well and that is fine. I also give him the space for that. ”
“Ron is perplexed by the number of coffee cups and glasses I use per day. He thinks it is exaggerated to get a new mug or glass every time. And Ron occasionally takes something wrong from the store. I can get angry about that, but I am happy that he does the shopping. So I don’t make a drama of that. ”
“We both don’t do ironing. That makes me very nervous. We have such a steam case, but we are both not fond of it. I prefer not to do it to prevent domestic violence, it makes me so aggressive. I can really look up to cleaning windows. I find it especially annoying to empty the windowsills. I could hire someone for that, but we live very small, so in principle it is a feasible task, haha. ”
“We consciously make time to relax. Ron has his own night that he can watch all his Netflix woes at his leisure and I have my night of peace and quiet. We also make time for friends and for each other. ”
“It is well known that men find it useful to know exactly what is required of them. Clearly ask what you want and consider each other’s needs. I only recently know that Ron finds it very cozy when the coffee maker is on when he comes home. You can only do something with that if you know things like that. ”