Life Style

Kim suffered a burnout and was unable to do anything at all

Kim: “Before I collapsed, my life was busy and full. As a communication trainer and actress I gave many training courses to young doctors on how to deal with medical incidents. I also organized 24-hour events for healthcare providers with a group of colleagues, during which I was away all day and night. I worked about fifty hours a week. “

Get on

“As a self-employed person I thought it was very important to work a lot so that I could build a financial buffer. I had just divorced, had an expensive rental house and an adolescent daughter to take care of. All of that put a lot of pressure on my shoulders. In I often met friends on weekends when my daughter was with her father. I found it very difficult to be alone and never took a rest. Continuing, that was my motto. “

“The first signs that I was not doing well came in the fall holiday of 2017. Out of nowhere I started having panic attacks. Then I could not breathe and I felt like I could just fall over. I noticed that I was breathing strange. Very short and high, as if I continuously ran a marathon. In retrospect, I know this was hyperventilation. “

No more sleeping

“I felt that I was not doing well. So I resolved to finish the workouts that were on my agenda and then take some time off. But I was no longer sleeping. The adrenaline was running through my body, I was standing non -stop in a fight-or-flight position Sometimes I slept very briefly and woke up awake, bathed in sweat I was exhausted, dog tired, but I couldn’t relax anymore.

“Around Christmas I started experiencing dropouts. Suddenly I could no longer see anything with my left eye. My ‘filter’ seemed to disappear, everything entered me hard: I could hardly bear sounds and light. I was shocked and called the doctor in panic. diagnosis came quickly then: a burnout. That felt like an acknowledgment: okay, so this is the matter with me. “

No choice

“That was very double, I was relieved that the creature now had a name, but I also opposed it. I thought: this is not convenient for me, how are we going to solve this as quickly as possible. Accept that I really had to rest taking was very difficult for me, but I had no choice. I could no longer ignore that I was not doing well at all. Or actually: downright bad. Throughout the day I felt pure panic and fear, but what I was afraid of , I did not know. I was sitting on the couch trembling like a frightened bird. “

“Of course I was looking for professional help. That did not always work out well. I started with a coach who specialized in EFT therapy, which should work stress-reducing. But this man addressed me with a nonexistent trauma, after which I spent the whole weekend was hyperventilating. I had six psychologists in total. One told me: “I sometimes feel alone when my husband is getting wood from the shed.” Then I was told a whole story about her vacation plans. “

Alternative circuit

I sought refuge in the alternative circuit. From a naturopath who recommended me foot baths with salt. With a healer who cleaned my chakras. Nothing helped. In the end I had a good click with the sixth psychologist, the conversations with her helped me a lot. I also found a nice haptonome who, with very small movements and touches, made me sit less in my busy head and started feeling my body again. Through a psychiatrist I was prescribed a light dose of antidepressant, which helped me to break the negative circle. “

“When you have a burnout, you get a lot of unsolicited and well-intentioned advice. A psychologist told me to ‘read a good book’ and ’embrace my fear’. I couldn’t help it. Just like people who said I just had to do ‘nice things’: a day in the sauna or a good workout. I wanted to do all that, but I couldn’t do that at all. Walking the dog was sometimes too much for me. “

Structure

“I did not draw too many stimuli and people around me at all. Which did help: adding structure to my day. I divided my days into three blocks and had only one ‘big’ task per day, for example shopping. Every afternoon I rested required two hours and often I did a body scan. It is a kind of mindfulness exercise in which you are guided through your body under the guidance of a quiet voice. I lived as an elderly person and had to surrender to it. “

“In the process, I learned that there is no quick fix for a burnout and that there is no holy grail hidden somewhere. The road to recovery is different for everyone. It helped me to bathe and listen to music. Music broke my stream of thoughts and prevented me from worrying. “

Love for myself

“I learned that I had to be softer and more loving with myself. That my attitude of ‘not dicks but brushing’ no longer helped me, but just brought me down. I had to set boundaries. So no more agreements with people who do not give me energy and not taking on jobs that don’t really feel good, no matter how much they are paid. I don’t go to every party anymore and nowadays I try to make time to do nothing and to muse. “

“Humor kept me going, like laughing at all the sometimes crazy advice I received. And writing pieces. I started to get away from the situation and put it into perspective and I noticed that the writing gave me energy and inspiration It led to my book Otherwise you just grab a good book? “

Trust

“I am doing very well now. I am looking forward to starting my training again after the corona period. Of course I have to stay alert to my pitfalls: wanting to do too much and feel responsible for everything and everyone. confident that I will never be so deep again I never want to go through a burnout again, you don’t wish that to be your worst enemy in the hardest moments I was afraid it would never pass I see that period therefore not so much as one blessing in disguise. Rather like a hard but wise lesson. “

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