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The parenting issue: ‘My toddler daughter misses grandma so much’

Yesterday, 2.5-year-old Livia threw herself to the ground, screaming for a little something, and she was difficult to calm down. Minke thinks he knows what this is about: “Livia went to her grandparents every Monday for the corona measures. Now that is no longer possible, we do not want to endanger the health of my in-laws unnecessarily. But Livia is very much about them attached and we notice that she is not feeling well now. She is troubled, sleeps worse and often calls for her grandmother. How do we deal with this? She is still too small to understand the situation. ”

The question is whether this toddler really misses her grandparents, says Dave Niks of De Family Psychologist: “Toddlers can certainly already miss someone, but they will quickly continue with the new situation. You can also see that in the event of a death, for example. One moment they can cry heartbreaking, the other moment they are playing happily again. ”

To be spoiled

The psychologist wonders whether this is about grandpa and grandma, or whether there is something else going on: “What does grandma symbolize? Maybe for safety, or being spoiled. The situation in daily life is now different by corona. The virus can cause tensions in the house, for example from working from home or insecure income. And the three Rs of peace, cleanliness and regularity are now running differently, while children need that structure so badly. ”

It is not without reason that experts insist on staying in the rhythm with your family, says Niks: “So get up on time, keep moving, eat at set times and go back to bed at a normal time. It is not surprising that a child sleeps worse or react differently when everything is suddenly different. ”

Own behavior

“Take a moment and look at the situation and your own behavior. Perhaps you realize that as a parent you also have a shorter fuse or have difficulty with being at home and sharing the space. My advice: don’t sit on top of your toddler, let her be herself And maybe she understands more than you think.

You can explain to her what is sick, and that many people are now and that it is therefore better to see grandma and grandpa less. Make her feel safe and secure at home. And remember that all this will pass again. ”

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